So, This is Fifty?

Hello, beautiful people in the bloggerverse and beyond!  I hope all is well with you and yours.  Today I am sharing a more personal, reflective post.  I hope you'll bear with me and enjoy.

This year marks a couple of special milestones for me; this year I will turn fifty years old.  I will also celebrate 30 years of marriage to my husband.  It is stunning to me how fast I got here.  

I look at photos of a younger me and I see in that young woman's eyes the idealism of youth, and perhaps even a tinge of naïveté.

An amused side-eye from my current self.

As a person who often busied herself with not only all of life's hustles, but also the mundane, I have found time extraordinarily fleeting, and it does my head in how quickly the years have passed.  I often think of one of my favorite lines of dialogue from the film Legend which is one of the most treasured of my youth.  The dreams of youth are the regrets of maturity.   I first saw this film in my teens and I wholeheartedly believed it. 

Here I am, approximately thirty-five years on since I first saw it, and I ask myself, has this tenet held true?  Well in some aspects, without question...so here is some advice I would give my younger self:

Oh, you sweet Summer Child, lol.  Do come closer.

To the idealism of youth:  Never lose it.  Try not to get bogged down in the seriousness that is life.  Remember to enjoy the journey.  It is ok to chase the whimsy.  It is okay to sometimes allow yourself to indulge in the alluring details life has to offer, and to even admire the nuance that some may find prosaic.  You will see that same idealism reflected in your children's eyes; and you will realize:  You will hurt.  You will feel.  You will fear. You will stress.  But you will also love.  You will care.  You will admire.  You will inspire.

To the vanity of youth:  You may not remain a size 00 your whole life, but this body is a strong body.  It has carried six and birthed five children.  It has provided loving protection for those children.  It builds things.  It teaches.  It shows its age, but those markers of that age are to be admired rather than abhorred. 

Do not be afraid to be yourself.  I hate to admit, I am still working on this one.  I am a contradiction in that while I am a very private person in real life, I am much more relaxed and congenial online.  I am very goofy and silly, a complete nerd...yet I find that it is tough to share that part of myself when I don't have the anonymity of being online.  I am learning not to care so much and to allow myself to just be.  

Most importantly, give yourself grace.  Stop being so hard on yourself, it's going to be ok.  It may not be exactly what you idealized, but life's journey will be beautiful just the same.  

Here is a photo of myself and Mr. Parsimonious, from what seems like yesterday it went by so fast.  Thirty years of marriage later, I am glad you have journeyed with me.

Until next we meet,

--Y

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